Wow so much has happened since I wrote in April! Phoebe the dog is an agility star- super smart, motivated to please, and doing great in our household. In less that a week Dennis and I will be married and headed to Paris for our honeymoon.

Getting married is totally weird. First of all, I thought it was all about the couple getting married, but I see now that was pretty naive. It turns out its like planning a big event for your family and friends who often have their own ideas of what a wedding is or should be. I have been really surprised by some of the people I thought would come that aren’t going to make it, luckily a lot of people have come out of the woodwork to show up. This whole experience has made me re-examine some of the relationships in my life because a lot of them are not what I want them to be. I’ve had a lot of close friends move in the past few years and sadly we aren’t as close, I realize I need to put more effort into finding local supportive friendships with some new folks, and its hard to make new friends at 33 years old. I think running my own business I have often let my relationships take a backseat to work. I’ve gotten a lot of perspective and I know I need to make some changes.

So the wedding is happening this Saturday in Prospect Park at 930am, hopefully it won’t rain! The dogs are a part of the ceremony though we’re pretty sad that we lost our best man Rusty a few weeks ago. He had struggled with his health over the past few years and we finally had to let him go. He was an amazing dog and we miss him terribly. I wrote this poem for him a while back (of course wordpress is messing up the formatting)

Rusty photo by Dennis Riley

Tug of War

For Rusty

What happened to you? Gregarious guy knocking

me aside, running up slippery stairs ebullient, bone

in mouth, hopping on the hairy bed fit for a king,

you allow me in, but not to sleep. Stir morning

wake and all eighty pounds of you bounds down

upon me, sniffing and licking, painful paws digging,

giant head nosing and nudging me to my feet. Big

body barking like a girl, not even a bellow, a shriek.

Pulling me to the park, off leash beseech the squeakiest

ball, so you can feel like you’re a crazy killing machine.

Drop for catch, wait until I bend down to scream-plead

your demands into my panged ears. Once you’ve caught

your kill between big teeth you fake fetch tricking

any empty hand in your lair into and unwitting game

of Tug of War. You won’t let go, after only six years

no more Prospect Park’s green and trees. Your solid

stride scarred and clicking from surgery. A clock

making us all more aware of time and how little

of it there is. We are all going grayer, clinging

to anything solid in this turbulent sea.


Rusty and all the dogs teach me to stay in the day/moment because that’s all we really have and we are lucky to have it. I’m very grateful to have met my match and to be going into this new phase of life with him. More soon about the wedding and our parisian honeymoon!


1 Comment

Filed under Dogs, Spirituality, Travel

One response to “C-C-C-Changes!

  1. I am so sorry to hear about Rusty. We just lost one of our pups and it is so very hard. We now have Miss Stella who has come into our lives and shaken things up a bit. You are right about learning more about your relationships when planning a wedding. Amazing how such an important event can enlighten you and help put things into perspective. I look forward to seeing how things go by checking back here often. 🙂

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